Must My Aspiring Content Creator Friend Cease Exploiting People for Material?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?